My clients are often shocked when I ask them to stop talking. Most are used to an environment of yes men (and womxn) and dictating. However, I explain to them that they need to take a more mindful approach to leadership. That is to say, talk less and connect more to what is around you. Only then can you become a less fragmented, more engaging leader. Even when leaders are more open to the ideas of others, they tend not to listen well. The tendency is to get the tip of a conversation and then immediately translate it to their point of view, thereby “taking” the talk. These behaviors or the tendency to have fragmented engagement tend to carry over into all of our relationships. Our workplace engagements, our friendships, and our intimate relationships become fragmented. Over time this can lead to disengagement, burnout and cause us to become less the great women we intend to be. But how do we modify our tendency to zone out or have fragmented engagement? In a word, mindfulness.
Mindfulness is connectedness, to one’s self, to one’s environment, to our relationships. It allows us to be in our feelings, enabling us to recognize our thoughts and others’ thoughts to address them adequately. You might be saying, “oh, that’s easy, Reese; you’re talking about listening.” No, dear reader, no, I am not. I’m talking about connecting in a meaningful way, and many of us have a tough time doing this. Clifton Wharton, a great leader credited with saving TIAA-CREF, once wrote, “normally a leader would not opt to connect, but I wanted to open myself up to myself up to our base.” Those words often resonate with me when I work with leaders. Connectedness is not a vulnerability; it is a strength. Mindfulness allows us a way to connect to ourselves and others to become better leaders.
Why is mindfulness so valuable? Mindfulness has many benefits for the woman in leadership. The idea is not only to connect to your thoughts but also to engage mindfully with others. Mindfulness has four main value propositions for the female leader: Non-judgement, healthier relationships, greater productivity, and fulfillment.
Non-judgment: mindfulness stresses a non-judgmental disposition. Being non-judgmental is a critical leadership quality, but it requires great practice because we are all human.
Healthier relationships: when you can talk and relate to others without judgment, the engagements are more insightful, empathic, and more beneficial for both or all parties.
Greater productivity: As women, we tend to judge on sight. It’s a generalization, but generally, it’s true. Imagine how quickly that meeting could become more productive if we spent more time authentically engaging and less time judging or creating the standoff?
Fulfillment: Being mindful of our experience, thoughts, and emotions allows you to access your openness to the world and people around you. In turn, exposure encourages our curiosity and creativity, increasing the likelihood of greater fulfillment in our leadership roles. Being fulfilled is right for you, your team, and your business.
